I LIKE RIBBONS!
Politics is complicated and war is messy. But ribbons? They're pretty, like your mouth.

(Front) THERE'S A FUCKIN' ASSHOLE
LOOKING AT ME
(Back) ...STILL LOOKING AT ME
Fuck 'em. Best of all it doesn't matter whether you're coming or going.

I SUPPORT SINGLE MOMS
It's time to sit down and declare your support for single moms. Won't you lend a lap?

GO LOCAL SPORTS TEAM
AND/OR COLLEGE!
Show your support for your favorite overpaid athlete and/or subpar student!

WHO NEEDS BIG TITS?
WHEN YOU HAVE AN ASS LIKE THIS
I couldn't poop for two days because my ass was swollen shut. I never saw you, but you violated me, you bastard jellyfish.

YOU CAN'T HAVE MANSLAUGHTER WITHOUT LAUGHTER
Laughter is the best medicine. That is, next to any sort of actual medicine.